One night my husband had a few friends over for a D&D game night (someone else needs to be embarrassed besides me in some of these stories). Feeding 5 or 6 men in their 20’s is no easy task, so I decided to go grab some pizzas from the nearby parlor. I took my husband’s wallet with me instead of my purse so I could carry all the pizzas by myself. After getting the pizzas and coming home, I needed to poop (no way!). I had the wallet in my back pocket when I went into the bathroom, but I didn’t when I was done. When I dropped my pants to sit down, the wallet came out of my back pocket and fell into the toilet! I didn’t even realize what had happened until I turned around to flush and thought I had just pooped a square.
I had to fish the wallet out from under my waste and toss it into the bathtub so I could wash it off with the handheld shower head.
Seeing the humor in what had just happened, I called my husband over to have a laugh and asked him to not tell his friends. He got a look on his face I hope I never see again, and ran down the hallway screaming, “Anna just pooped on my wallet!”
Next time I won’t even tell him.
Not that I’m guaranteeing that there will be a next time…