Married? You should leave him. You have a dog? Put him to sleep.

Working at the front desk of a real estate office, I get a lot of sales people coming in to pitch to me. This guy was a thick-neck personal trainer from a new gym that was about to open up. He wanted to leave some flyers for the agents, but insisted on writing his name on each flyer before giving them to me. Here’s the exchange we had while he sat and wrote his name 30 times:

Guy:”Real estate offices always hire supermodels. Do you work out?”
Me: “No.”

(he brought a dog with him)

Me: “Can I pet your dog?”
Guy:”You can pet me if you’re not married.”
Me: I am.
Guy: Happy?
Me: Yes.
(I should have asked him to leave at this point.)
(He asks me about my dog and it comes up that Toofer has Addisons)
Guy: “I would put my dog down if there was anything wrong with him.”
Me: “He takes one pill a day and he’s totally normal.”
Guy: “Yeah but still. Where did you get him?”
Me: “The pound. We thought he was a border collie, but he surprised us.”
Guy: “Should have bought a purebred.”

I threw all the flyers in the trash.

You clearly don’t know who you’re talking to.

 

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